This year long journey of Discipleship Counseling has taken me to a destination that I never knew existed. It is a destination that I will call PEACE. I never truly understood what living in God’s peace meant. Now that I am experiencing it, I never want to leave.
My journey to PEACE started with the weekend seminar. This seminar started me on the road to understanding what my re-birth really meant. To no longer be in the lineage of Adam but to be adopted into the family of God was such a revelation to me. However, at this time when I entered the road which would lead me to PEACE, I still had no idea what my destination was. I just knew that I wanted to travel this road and not deviate from where God was leading me.
Each course was a different stop on the road to PEACE. Some were troubled stops and some were brief but rewarding. The most troubling stop was Untangling Relationships. This stop gave me a name or identification of who I was: Co-Dependent. This was upsetting to me because I thought that most of what I did, I did because I was just being nice. Now, I understand how controlling and manipulative I was acting. This behavior was a result of being sexually abused for many years as a child by my biological father. Since I had no control over my life then, I did everything in my power to control everything as an adult. Being made aware of this has changed the way that I deal with my family, friends, and especially the girls in my Overcomers Group.
Another difficult stop on my journey was at Inner Healing Prayer. During this stop, the Lord so gently revealed to me where He was during the abuse that I endured and why he allowed it to occur. He told me that He was right there with me and that He was troubled and hurt by it as well but that He knew that I would be strong enough to endure and to be healed for His Glory and that I would be willing to share my testimony with others. By sharing my testimony others who had similar backgrounds could receive hope and healing and learn to rest in the total Love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Other stops were for the acquisition of knowledge to help when counseling and/or leading others in the Overcomers Group which I lead at Club Zion. One of these stops was Addictive Thinking which was incredibly helpful in giving me the knowledge I need to understand the women in Overcomers.
As I traveled along the road to PEACE, the Lord revealed so much of where he was taking me when I stopped at various “Rest Stops” which were the extra-reading assignments which were required for graduation. The Bondage Breakers and Victory Over The Darkness by Neil Anderson made me so aware of the ways that we innocently allow Satan a possible stronghold into our lives. I am so much more conscious of the books, shows and music that I allow into my home, car and workplace. The Life Set and Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham was so enlightening. Bill and Annabel gave me so many “real life” tools on how to allow Jesus to live His life through me.
One of the most meaningful Rest Stops was at The Rest of the Gospel. This stop taught me so much about the other side of the Cross. The understanding that living the Christian Life is to really allow Jesus to live His life through me was true revelation. I just received a case of these books to use as a teaching for my Overcomers Group. This book changed my life and moved me so much closer to my destination of PEACE. After reading this book I realized that the Rest Stop that I was at was only two exits from my final destination of PEACE.
The last Rest Stop was only one exit away from PEACE and catapulted me to my destination of PEACE. This Rest Stop was entitled Search for Self-Worth. This DVD series by Malcolm Smith came at the perfect point in my journey. Of course this was not a coincidence as the Lord knew exactly the right time that I would be ready to receive this message. Malcolm’s dynamic preaching on self-worth gave me so much understanding on where my value should come from. These DVD’s allowed this mind knowledge to become MY HEART KNOWLEDGE. The one thing that truly truly truly changed my life and planted my feet in my destination of PEACE was the realization that Jesus was sexually abused as well. When he hung naked on the cross for all to gawk at and belittle, He felt my shame and my pain and my confusion and my un-forgiveness. Until that moment when Malcolm said that, I always felt that yes Jesus experienced all things when he came and took human form, but not what I experienced. At first I was so sad that Jesus had to experience sexual abuse but then I was elated to know that He did truly understand what I went through and took it with Him to the cross. It was no longer my shame to bear. JOY JOY JOY!!! I danced around my house, luckily I was home alone, but not really, because Jesus was dancing with me. I cannot express in words how liberating this revelation was. All I can say is that I have now reached my destination of PEACE and will protect it with all of my being. All of the other tools that I learned along this journey will enable me to protect my PEACE and to be aware of things, feelings, people, circumstances, etc. as they come my way from Satan who will do everything in his willpower to steal my JOY and PEACE!!!
The Lord revealed to me during Inner Healing Prayer that He is happy with the road that I am on regarding my ministry. He wants me to continue with Overcomers and will reveal to me if and when he wants me to take a different direction. I would love to be able to take what God has taught me throughout this year which culminated in the Christ Centered Counseling Workshop and allow the Lord to use me to counsel women. I have a strong desire for my husband and I to possibly get involved in marriage counseling, of course if that is the Lord’s will. I have left behind my “bull in a China Shop” personality and am now waiting to hear clearly from the Lord where he wants to take me. If His desire is for nothing to change at this point in my life, then I will be content in that as well.
I have arrived at the destination of allowing Jesus to live His life though me which brings me total and complete PEACE!!
Thank you so much to all of you at WEGO for being my Travel Guides along this rocky road that led me to PEACE!!!